WELL PARENT: Having More Fun When Things Don't Go As Planned
By Shelby Gleadow
Chinese New Year in Beijing hasn’t quite turned out as we planned. Typically we travel, almost always to the beach. This year was our youngest’s first Spring Festival in China. We had dreams of making dumplings with friends, temple fairs and trips to the mountains. Our plans quickly came to a halt as Beijing began to shutdown due to the coronavirus. In the midst of all these unexpected changes I happened to be right in the middle of Mandy Arioto’s book, 'Have More Fun'. Drawn simply by the title and my love for all things fun, I never could have imagined how relevant Mandy’s challenge would become for me and my family this month.
In chapter 6, 'Have More Fun When Things Don’t Go as Planned', Mandy says, “Our baseline happiness can be increased not by having cool things happen to us but by merely choosing to find the fun and joy in the midst of the hard stuff. Because the opportunity for fun is always there.” She goes on to say that,
“CHOOSING FUN WHEN LIFE DOESN'T GO AS PLANNED IS LIFE CHANGING."
I love fun! I love to laugh, I love cake, and I love impromptu dance parties, all of it, but in situations like the present, I, like Mandy, tend to feel other emotions bigger; fear about my kids health, worry about my own personal sanity and the panic of not knowing when this is going to end. Anyone with me?
I often remind myself that I will find what I am looking for. If I am looking for disappointment, I will find it. If I am looking for something to worry about, I will indeed find it. Mandy goes on to say, “When we only focus on what is lacking we fail to notice the things that are good in our lives.”
How can we choose gratitude when we feel stuck? Whether you are stuck in a city in China or stuck outside the country we are all in an in-between space waiting for our “normal” to resume. Do we simply wait it out? Mandy suggests that the “fun response” is to “do what we can with what we have right where we are.”
Maybe our problem, whatever it might be, isn’t a problem - maybe it's an opportunity for fun.
With that in mind I want to invite you to join me in what I am calling Fun-ruary, because it’s pretty easy to understand and I couldn’t think of a more clever name.
What is Fun-ruary?
Fun-ruary is a call to gratitude over worry and fun in the midst of the hard stuff. As moms, we have the amazing opportunity to be the catalyst for fun and joy in our homes. Let’s try it for the month of February.
How to Fun-ruary?
Fun looks different to everyone. For me, this month I plan to do ONE fun, engaging activity with my family a day. We’ve been practicing Fun-ruary in my household since last week (is it just me or has January felt longer than all of 2019?!). Every day before lunch, we do something fun together. We’ve made volcanos, painted, had sock-ball fights and scavenger hunts for candy treats. Some days I genuinely don’t feel like it but the connection it has built in our family over this past week is stunning so I know it’s worth pushing through the momentary lapse of fun-a-tude.
Fun-ruary Ideas Share
I’m a developer, teacher and trainer, I lesson plan by default. I haven’t been doing that this week; I’ve joked that ideas have come to me like manna from heaven each morning. My kids have started having their own ideas too. So do whatever works for you and your family and please share it in the comments! I’ll share what we are doing right here in our WeChat group each day.
Happy Fun-ruary!
Shelby x
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Our Well Women guest contributor is Shelby Gleadow - a trainer, teacher, smitten wife and proud mom of two wild boys. She has lived in Beijing for 17 years working in the arts, education and development. She is passionate about fun, practicality, gratitude and getting the ‘pengyou’ price.
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